This is like a caricature of ‘post-rock’, encapsulating everything people say is wrong with the genre. It’s unreal. The first track has pretty much no progression and boils down to riff repetition. The rest of the record is no better. So fucking boring! Seriously, it can’t be enjoyable to sit and repeat yourself this much – what’s the point? The band come across as wankers on the promo sheet too - semi-ironic, wannabe funny bullshit. Absolutely no redeeming qualities here. This CD is genuinely the worst thing I’ve had sent to review since I started writing reviews for Collective. I’d rather listen to that Avosetta bullshit again. Fuck this garbage. Binned. David Giles

Cash only please. Send your cash to Richard. Yeah, Richard Cool. No, no, cash only, I said. Well, send back the fucking cheque. No, I don’t want it. Cash, cash only.

Streetcred. I mean, honestly. There exists, in the world that you and I go about our day to day, a band called Streetcred. And who, I hear you sob, are this so called Streetcred. Well, they’re perhaps the funniest band on this godforsaken rock. Or I’ve really missed the point.

This band, I kid you not, are utterly shit.

Christ... I’ve just been scouring the internet, in the hope of finding Streetcred’s press release, so you can read the whole thing, and there’s two of the bastards. This other Streetcred have performed alongside Jim Bowen. Like Nick Griffin, then? And their singer is a ‘modern day diva’, whatever that means. God, I wish I was reviewing them instead. Actually, not true. The music is unbearable, but the press release is a work of singular genius. They also want cash, sent to them. By post. Beautiful.

‘Excerpted from an article... in the November 2009 issue of Life and Hope, the monthly parish magazine for Healaugh St. John the Baptist church, with the affiliated churches of Wighill All Saints, Billbrough St James, and Askham Richard St Mary’ – what an opening line to a press release. Streetcred then go on to talk about their new album Shit On, Switch Off, Fuck Out. Well, I say talk about their album, it’s mentioned there about as much as it will be here.

So let’s shoo the music and talk about the boys themselves. Guido Fourchette, Streetcred’s guitarist, is ‘knee-deeply involved in the agricultural disinfectant business.’ However, what with the fall in epidemics of late, the business is a bit flat, ‘it seems either the livestock die, or the agricultural disinfectant sector does’. Clearly, the best punchline to any joke. Nearly. Because the finest gag is left to Streetcred’s fan, real cake and real ale enthusiast, Malcolm Babbage, who says in so few words what has taken me three hundred: ‘While it stretches semantics to call what they do ‘music’, you can’t deny that it is ‘musical’’. Thank you, Malcolm.

So, you thin minded idiots who think that music should be something you enjoy listening to, get your hands in your pockets: Send cash.

Epilogue: After listening to Flies are Spies from Hell, I’ve decided to award Streetcred’s album 5/10. At least they sound like they’re enjoying themselves. Album – 5/10 Press release 11/10

Sean Gregson